I’ve been lazy…. suck it.

Big Brother 8 (9:00pm CBS) – Veto! Veto! Veto!! I have no idea, because its lame and shouldnt be watched.

Wide Angle (9:00pm PBS/KCET) – Crop failures, sinking global cotton prices, and spiraling debts drive Indian cotton farmers to suicide in this typical example of uplifting fare from public television. Everyone Panic! Thanks Fark.

i-Caught (9:00pm ABC) – Basically YouTube, without the funny, or America’s Funniest Home Video clips. Parkour athletes jump all over shit, plus videos of marriage proposals and purse snatchers.

Late Show With David Letterman (11:35pm CBS) – Six degrees from Kevin Bacon; Kat Von D; T.I. performs with Wyclef

Late Night With Conan O’Brien (12:35am ABC) – Jeff Goldblum; Devon Aoki; Okkervil River performs.

Big Brother (8:00pm CBS)- Who cares?

Mad Men (10:00pm AMC) – I think this show is cool, at least it looks cool. Smoking, and sexing, and all sorts of stuff. I just don’t want to watch it.

The Colber(t) Repor(t) (11:30pm Comedy Central) – Judd Apatow, producer of Superbad

The Tonight Show With Jay Leno (11:35pm NBC) – David Duchovny talks about the new season of ‘Californication’; Tiki Barber; comic Nick Thune performs.

Jimmy Kimmel LIVE (12:05am ABC) – Paul Rudd rubs Kimmel the right way; Michael Cera; Public Enemy performs – FLAVA FLAAAAAV. I guess the onslot for the Roast of FLAVA FLAAAAAV is starting.

Big Brother (9:00pm CBS)- New – Nobody cases that It’s veto time and we know Tony’s all over that action.

LA Ink (10:00pm TLC) – Premiere – Kat Von D had enough of Miami so she’s come to LA to set up shop. – she’s hot thats why we care.

i-Caught (10:00pm ABC)- Premiere- New series based on amateur video clips . This week it’s battles between lions and crocodiles and buffalos. Yes, this sounds really good (sarcastic tone)

Damages (10:00pm FX) – The unfolding exploitation of Ellen by Patty continues. Apparently its good, but my TiVo disagrees.

Late Night With Conan O’Brien (12:35am NBC) – Glenn Close talks up ‘Damages’; Modest Mouse performs

My Boys (10 pm TBS)- New, Season Premiere. I tried to watch this show over the weekend. TBS was running a marathon. There something about seeing the loser kid from Rosanne trying to act like a gangsta that I can’t stand. But the chick is HOT!!

Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations (10 pm, TRAVEL) New, Season Premiere. More smoking, more bad stories. The upside, more Alcohol!

Big Love (9:00 PM HBO) – New, Still love the show! Its getting quirky with the mafia innuendo, if only polygamist’s complain. Other than that maybe they’re trying to fill the void the Soprano’s left. Either way, definitely on my Tivo!

Cheater’s Club(9:00 PM, Lifetime) A therapist counseling women in troubled marriages gives them some unconventional advice, suggesting they have affairs as a way of strengthening their unions. Then the clients who follow her advice start dropping dead. Could this be the work of jealous husbands or something more sinister? Charisma Carpenter stars in this 2006 mystery drama. Its on Lifetime, so its got to be good… yeah thats it.

Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List (9:59 pm BRAVO) New – In this episode Kathy uses her quick whit and intellect to bring down the walls of ignorance. She creates world peace, by talking about Britney Spears’ vagina.

Eureka (9 pm SCI FI) New – Climate Change apocalypse. Everyone PANIC!

Damages (10 pm FX) New – Glenn Close certainly didn’t overstay her welcome in the Farmington police district, but that doesn’t mean she wasn’t willing to give FX another try. For some reason Ted Danson is in this show as well, co-starring his toupee.

Nova (8:00 PM, PBS)- (Check local listings) All art is open to interpretation, but a sculpture called “Kryptos” takes the prize for most cryptic artwork. It lives at the CIA’s headquarters and is filled with all kinds of codes. Allegedly only its creator and the head of the CIA know exactly what it says. This new episode also introduces a pioneering paleontologist, a physicist giving Einstein’s theories a run for their money, and a radical new theory about genetics.

Premiering tonight at 7:00 p.m. on AMC is ‘Mad Men’, the creation of Matthew Weiner (of ‘Sporanos’ fame). The series is all about Madison Avenue ad men back in the heyday of the early 1960s. Get ready for heavy drinking and mysogyny – things have changed SO much in business haven’t they? It’s a cutthroat world where the account is king and everyone’s trying to push their way up any ladder that they can get to without revealing any of their secrets, insecurities, or character flaws.

Set for Life (8 pm ABC) New – Jimmy Kimmel hosts some show about something that will inevitably be canceled. Don’t get me wrong I love Jimmy, but well game shows blow. Unless you’re Bob Barker.

Henry Rollins (11 pm IFC) New – In a light and lively interview, Christopher Walken discusses his prolific film career (admitting “I’ve made a bunch of movies I never saw”), his role in the new version of Hairspray, and his love of song and dance.

Victoria Beckham: Coming to America 8 pm NBC Special- Not Since Eddie Murphy’s movie has there so much excitement to come to America.
The Closer 9 pm TNT New – Who cares?
Big Love 9 pm HBO New – I’m guilty, I’ll be there
Hell’s Kitchen 9 pm FOX New – Plot synopsis: He yells, someone cries, they blame each other, someone goes home…

Greek 9 pm ABC FAMILY New Ah, college. A place where children become adults, and they drink enough to make the ugly girls hot.

The Closer 9 pmTNT New – People actually watch this? I’m impressed.

Big Love 9 pm HBO New – One of my guilty pleasures. They are in for a world of hurt if they buy that gaming company out from under Roman… crafty Mormons!

The Bronx Is Burning 10 pm ESPN New – Evidentally so is 1/2 the case… I guess thats flaming but whatever.

World Series of Pop Culture 9 pm VH1 – Finally a show for those with no lives, that stayed home on those oooh soo lonely Friday and Saturday nights (like I did). Use the completely use facts you know about how many different mustaches Alex Trebeck has had over the past 30 years of Jeopardy.

Late Show with David Letterman 11:35 pm CBS – New – Some other douche-bags and THE SMASHING PUMPKINS

Tonight Show with Jay Leno 11:35 pm NBC – New – Daniel Radcliff, Patton Oswald, The Decemberists

Jimmy Kimmel Live – 12:05 pm ABC – Repeat- Some people that art THE SMASHING PUMPKINS

Extreme Makeover (9:01, ABC) – The ABC makeover series that doesn’t feature Ty Pennington returns with two people receiving life-changing transformations

Hell’s Kitchen (9 pm FOX) New “Too many cooks [bleep] up the Wellingtons!” Gordon Ramsay screams at cooks

The Closer (9 pm TNT) New

Kyle XY (8 pm ABC FAMILY) New

Deadliest Catch (9 am DISCOVERY) Special

Jimmy Kimmel, Late Show with David Letterman, and Tonight Show with Jay Leno – All Repeats