• 30 Rock 9:31 pm(NBC) Jennifer Anniston guest spot. Not since the introduction of Oliver to the Brady Bunch have I been this excited.

• ER 10 pm(NBC) New – Why is this still on?Blah blah blah, a can’t miss episode.
  

• Grey’s Anatomy 9 pm (ABC) New – McBoring
  

• Smallville 8 pm(CW) New – So I think I would really like this show….but I never watched it. So who cares?

8:00pm Big Brother: ‘Til Death Do You Part CBS – The food competition.

9:00pm Masterpiece Theater: Emma PBS/KCET – The 1996 BBC adaptation of the Jane Austen novel starring Kate Beckinsale

9:00pm Adams HBO – Adams and Jefferson visit France and hook up with Ben Franklin.

9:00pm The L Word SHOWTIME – Season finale.

10:00pm Dumped BBCA – ‘Survivor-in-a-landfill’ continues to kick ass.

9:00pm Trading Spaces TLC – A divorced couple redesign each other’s bedrooms. Paige Davis needs a new haircut.

9:00pm Torchwood BBCA – An alien shape shifter is the baddie for this episode

8:00pm Cavemen ABC – Series Premiere. Racism never looked so good. I hope they make a Captain Caveman Joke.

8:30pm Carpoolers ABC – Series Premiere. Isnt that the dude from Sliders, Crossing Jordan and other failed shows?

9:00pm Queer Eye BRAVO – Season Premiere of the final season. I can’t believe theres ANOTHER season.

Image courtesy of Pat Rioux from Flickr.com

Beauty and the Geek (8:00PM,CW) – The male beauty and the female geek move into the house; each geek must write and perform an autobiographical rap for Three 6 Mafia; the beauties must debate current events; the first elimination ceremon. One of the funniest shows, my favorite line is “I think he might be a diamond in the rust”.

Bones (8:00PM, Fox) - I tried to watch this show. Its not so good, but the chick is hot, and isn’t that the dude from Buffy?

Biggest Loser (8:00PM, NBC) – Whats with all the fat people? Seriously. Also does anyone else notice all the shows that start with the letter B at 8:00PM. Is that a coincidence? Sneaky TV Executives.

House (9:00PM, FOX) – One of the best shows on TV is back! The dyspeptic diagnostician is back tonight for the fourth season, but without Foreman, Cameron or Chase. Oh, they’ll be back, too (next week, in fact), but they won’t be working for House, who’s without a staff for now. Watch as the hilarity of killing people ensues.

Reaper (9:00PM, CW) – Sam Oliver (Bret Harrison) has a pretty lousy 21st birthday: He discovers his parents have sold his soul to the Devil, who enlists him to be his personal bounty hunter. I’ve seen this show, except it was probably done better in “Dead Like Me“.

Boston Legal (9:30, ABC) – Larroquette is reunited with Kelley and joins the cast as Crane Poole & Schmidt senior partner Carl Sack, a transfer to the Boston office who shares a mutual dislike with — who else? — Denny Crane. I like the show, just never know when its on TV.

Cane (10:00PM, CBS) – The series centers on a Cuban-American family with a rum and sugar business in Florida run by patriarch Pancho Duque (Elizondo), who announces in the opener that his adopted son (Smits) will now run the company. ???????

Law & Order: SVU (10:00PM, NBC) – Based on a report of possible child abuse, the department goes on a full manhunt in an attempt to locate the missing mother and child. They end up finding more than they bargained for. What can I say? Its L&O, so its gonna be good.

ABC

8:00PM

Dancing With the Stars- People with little to no other real talent learn to dance with people who’s only talent is dancing. Let the hilarity begin. Staring Scary Spice, Floyd Mayweather Jr., and the ever popular and previously cancelled Reality Show star Mark Cuban.

9:30PM

The Bachelor - Brad Womack, a Texan who owns a small chain of successful bars with his brothers hopes to score with like 30 or 40 chicks in a row. SCORE!

CBS

How I Met Your Mother -Having never watched the show, I don’t really care. Except for that Doogie Howser is in it, which is awesome. So I’ll just include the synopsis.: You waited for it; you got it. The third season opens with Robin (Cobie Smulders) seeing someone new: a hunk named Gael (guest star Enrique Iglesias) from Argentina. Ted (Josh Radnor) decides to go out on the town with Barney (Neil Patrick Harris) and meets a fun-loving young woman (Mandy Moore). Jason Segel and Alyson Hannigan also star in “Wait for It.”

8:30PM

The Big Bang Theory - Nerds try to lure hot chicks into funny yet precarious situations. Let the nerd assault begin!

10:00PM

CSI: Miami - Apparently people like this campy crap. I do too, just not in Miami. In tonight’s sixth-season premiere, it’s revealed that Horatio has a son. Of course, he’s on the wrong side of the law.

NBC

8:00PM

Chuck – It’s the revenge of the nerd in this new series, which expertly amalgamates on-target comedy, action and espionage. Think of it as Big Bang Theory meets The Bourne Identity, except for 1 hour.

9:00PM

HEROES – It’s back on TV, can’t wait. My favorite show, other than The Office. New heroes and the fates of some old friends are revealed in the season premiere. We’ll learn what happened to Peter, Nathan and Matt (Milo Ventimiglia, Adrian Pasdar, Greg Grunberg) in the wake of their showdown with Sylar (Zachary Quinto). H.R.G. and Claire (Jack Coleman, Hayden Panettiere) try to keep a low profile. Mexican twins (Dania Ramirez, Shalim Ortiz) with special powers attempt to get into the U.S. Masi Oka also stars.

10:00PM

Journeyman - This appears to be about a dude, that is on LSD or Mushrooms. Lets examine the evidence, he see’s people that aren’t there, and time seems to go in reverse and then fast forward. Don’t know about you, but TOTALLY shroomin! Kevin McKidd (“Rome”) stars as a newspaperman who can travel through time. As you might expect, he uses his power to help people change their lives. But he also finds it complicating his own, especially when he runs into the woman who got away (Moon Bloodgood). Gretchen Egolf and Reed Diamond also star.

K-Ville (9 pm FOX) New – The Big Easy has traditionally been plagued by an underlying air of graft and corruption. Anthony Michael Anderson stars in a yet to be cancelled cop drama.

Deal or No Deal (8 pm NBC) New One of – New York’s toughest deal makers, Donald Trump, ups the stakes in the third-season opener of the already nerve-racking game show. <cough>Media Whore</cough>

Prison Break (8 pm FOX) New - It’s back to the slammer for Michael as Season 3 begins. How many more seasons can they break out of prison? Only Fox executives, and OJ Simpson know.

Weeds (10 pm Showtime) New - In tonight’s highly entertaining episode, Mary-Kate Olsen joins the cast for an extended story arc. I’ve never actually seen the show, but its about WEED people how bad can it be?

i-Caught (9:00pm ABC) – Consumers fight back with video, plus a profile of comic Tom Green’s online talk show. In this episode, Tom will hump a cow, very original.

Damages (10:00pm FX) – Damages is back after a brief hiatus as well as a kind of lackluster parting episode. I guess people like the show. Being that I don’t care, I’ll wait for the cartoon.

Late Show With David Letterman (11:35pm CBS) – President Bill Clinton Patti Scialfa performs.

Jimmy Kimmel Live (12:05am ABC) – Terrell Owens; Kirk Douglas Gogol Bordello performs

Late Night With Conan O’Brien (12:35am NBC) – David Duchovny; Tim Gunn; comic Kevin Brennan performs.